Saturday, July 28, 2007
here is my second post for today.
my mum doesnt love me.
nor does she love my son.
she shouts at nik when he misbehaves only a little! with that kind of look,
tt tone, that voice. she doesnt love nik!
she nv looks aft him, nv plays with him.
she doesnt love me.
she went out wit her OWN family. step sis & dad.
i cant go out, it was raining.
she went out the WHOLE day and she never buy anything for me to EAT.
thanks mummy. for NEVER SHOWING me love at all for the past 18 yrs.
THIS GREATLY affects my life becos u are my only family then and i DON FEEL ANY LOVE FRM U.
my childhood memories, sadly. i DONT RMB A SINGLE THING.
must have SUCKED.
which is why i expect so much love from my bf.
becos i dont get any love. like family, kin love.
maybe they do love me so much. but i expect more more more becos im so stressed.
nt loved. SO VERY LONELY.
i cant feel happy no matter wad. why? how?
i feel like dying.
i cant be happy. how can i help myself?
i know ppl are all very worried abt me. BUT I REALLY DUNO WHY.
IM SUPER DEPRESSED. dont wish to survive anymore.
8:34 PM
my mum doesnt love me.
nor does she love my son.
she shouts at nik when he misbehaves only a little! with that kind of look,
tt tone, that voice. she doesnt love nik!
she nv looks aft him, nv plays with him.
she doesnt love me.
she went out wit her OWN family. step sis & dad.
i cant go out, it was raining.
she went out the WHOLE day and she never buy anything for me to EAT.
thanks mummy. for NEVER SHOWING me love at all for the past 18 yrs.
THIS GREATLY affects my life becos u are my only family then and i DON FEEL ANY LOVE FRM U.
my childhood memories, sadly. i DONT RMB A SINGLE THING.
must have SUCKED.
which is why i expect so much love from my bf.
becos i dont get any love. like family, kin love.
maybe they do love me so much. but i expect more more more becos im so stressed.
nt loved. SO VERY LONELY.
i cant feel happy no matter wad. why? how?
i feel like dying.
i cant be happy. how can i help myself?
i know ppl are all very worried abt me. BUT I REALLY DUNO WHY.
IM SUPER DEPRESSED. dont wish to survive anymore.
8:34 PM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
china girls so cute?
whatever(:
im under too much stress la. ppl cant c it.
but i can feel it. and chris knows me best, he knows im really stress.
severe emotional stress. well it caused my SHINGLES u know!
i got shingles! wth. SICK AGAIN!
its like some kind of same virus like chix pox. >.<
i have like small yucky blisters growin on my skin which is DAMN pain. ='(
gona tk 1-2wks to recover.. hmmm.
ok nid to prepare my resume to send to hotel already.
but m lazy. which hotel shud i go? prob gg to choose the same one as my brothers.
i trimmed my brows today n m so happy! thou its not much of a diff its def neater!
some pics. hehe.
natural. no make up ok! still cute.
my single eyelids<3!
i developed alot of pics frm my digi cam. abt 60+.
gg to give baby a surprise ltr. and givin kenny & zm their pics i dev of them.
i realised i took a lot of pics of nik but not with him.
hai, who can help us take? thus, family photos. which is only me & him hv so lil only..
shopped alot at cold storage for food(:
dear best friend. ive only few more months with u.
im really gg to cherish it. becos u are very impt.u helped me so much.
any requests u wan, do tell me. dont wori. tk care ya?
as for love. i really duno.
i don like complicated r/s. it seems ok. but i dont feel right.
i love babies. i love nik.
i cant wait to start a family with my man & have his kid.
none bullies me. only nik! until very jialat oso!
9:24 PM
whatever(:
im under too much stress la. ppl cant c it.
but i can feel it. and chris knows me best, he knows im really stress.
severe emotional stress. well it caused my SHINGLES u know!
i got shingles! wth. SICK AGAIN!
its like some kind of same virus like chix pox. >.<
i have like small yucky blisters growin on my skin which is DAMN pain. ='(
gona tk 1-2wks to recover.. hmmm.
ok nid to prepare my resume to send to hotel already.
but m lazy. which hotel shud i go? prob gg to choose the same one as my brothers.
i trimmed my brows today n m so happy! thou its not much of a diff its def neater!
some pics. hehe.
natural. no make up ok! still cute.
my single eyelids<3!
i developed alot of pics frm my digi cam. abt 60+.
gg to give baby a surprise ltr. and givin kenny & zm their pics i dev of them.
i realised i took a lot of pics of nik but not with him.
hai, who can help us take? thus, family photos. which is only me & him hv so lil only..
shopped alot at cold storage for food(:
dear best friend. ive only few more months with u.
im really gg to cherish it. becos u are very impt.u helped me so much.
any requests u wan, do tell me. dont wori. tk care ya?
as for love. i really duno.
i don like complicated r/s. it seems ok. but i dont feel right.
i love babies. i love nik.
i cant wait to start a family with my man & have his kid.
none bullies me. only nik! until very jialat oso!
9:24 PM
Sunday, July 22, 2007
These are so pretty.
when wud it be my day? im sure i wud look so beautiful(:
i wud marry u if u truly love me.
10:30 AM
when wud it be my day? im sure i wud look so beautiful(:
i wud marry u if u truly love me.
10:30 AM
Friday, July 20, 2007
i will NOT be with people tt do NOT tell the truth.
as long as i know tt u're hiding smtg. i wun change my mind.
i know there are things which im not told of.
ok so today sch ended really early. like 1,1+
last min plan to go orchard wit kenny & chris.
cuden tk the MRT. dint have service! so we took bus 77.
the ride was longgg and all of us felt giddy,wana puke.
reached cineleisure at 3+,bot ticks for harry potter @ 4.10.
had lunch at pasta mania. we shared a pasta & pizza. very nice but so damn full!
chris bot cookies @ famous amos & kenny bot some kachang puteh the sugar peanuts. NICE!
while gg to the cinema spotted this huge blue creature which i found so cute(:
its got some bulging parts on the chest.
the movie was cool.
idk why ppl say its not nice. aftermovie went walking ard orchard befre we tk LONG bus ride hm.
felt sick agn.
when i reached hm, nik was so happee! kip clappin his hands sayin "yeah!"
i felt so loved.
i donwana do anything this wkend.
i dont wish to talk to anybody.
i feel like being alone. i wana walk the streets at night alone.
i wana just sit at places alone.
i wana hear the sea sing. walk along beaches. sit & watch cars go by.
sms & calls wud not be entertained.
byebye...
10:05 PM
as long as i know tt u're hiding smtg. i wun change my mind.
i know there are things which im not told of.
ok so today sch ended really early. like 1,1+
last min plan to go orchard wit kenny & chris.
cuden tk the MRT. dint have service! so we took bus 77.
the ride was longgg and all of us felt giddy,wana puke.
reached cineleisure at 3+,bot ticks for harry potter @ 4.10.
had lunch at pasta mania. we shared a pasta & pizza. very nice but so damn full!
chris bot cookies @ famous amos & kenny bot some kachang puteh the sugar peanuts. NICE!
while gg to the cinema spotted this huge blue creature which i found so cute(:
its got some bulging parts on the chest.
the movie was cool.
idk why ppl say its not nice. aftermovie went walking ard orchard befre we tk LONG bus ride hm.
felt sick agn.
when i reached hm, nik was so happee! kip clappin his hands sayin "yeah!"
i felt so loved.
i donwana do anything this wkend.
i dont wish to talk to anybody.
i feel like being alone. i wana walk the streets at night alone.
i wana just sit at places alone.
i wana hear the sea sing. walk along beaches. sit & watch cars go by.
sms & calls wud not be entertained.
byebye...
10:05 PM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
FUCKING FUCKED UP DAY.
DON WISH TO EVEN MENTION A SINGLE FUCK ABT WAD FUCKING HAPPENED.
THIS IS WHEN U REALLY SEE LIYIN GETTIN ANGRY.
tell friends they dont understd.
best friend disappeared. wana spend time with him, always either nv reply, nv talk much.
or choose the wrong friend but i dont really care becos i know in this world noone can really be trusted.
i love my baby.
i love my female best friends. vans & yillie.
im looking at life now in a different perspective.
im gonna change, dont fucking care wad ppl think.
my love is for my baby, my besties.
for myself.
the world is selfish.
9:45 PM
DON WISH TO EVEN MENTION A SINGLE FUCK ABT WAD FUCKING HAPPENED.
THIS IS WHEN U REALLY SEE LIYIN GETTIN ANGRY.
tell friends they dont understd.
best friend disappeared. wana spend time with him, always either nv reply, nv talk much.
or choose the wrong friend but i dont really care becos i know in this world noone can really be trusted.
i love my baby.
i love my female best friends. vans & yillie.
im looking at life now in a different perspective.
im gonna change, dont fucking care wad ppl think.
my love is for my baby, my besties.
for myself.
the world is selfish.
9:45 PM
Monday, July 16, 2007
right now, im feeling severe pain.
feel sick.
im scared..
i wana cry.
9:15 PM
feel sick.
im scared..
i wana cry.
9:15 PM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
This is gona be it.
mitsubishi lancer evolution?
white is hot.
my family is gona be hot. woo. (:
only prob is. dont think they have the model i wan by then. F***!
10:56 PM
mitsubishi lancer evolution?
white is hot.
my family is gona be hot. woo. (:
only prob is. dont think they have the model i wan by then. F***!
10:56 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
So after my EC, i had 2 wks of hols.
COOL. we rarely have long hols like tt.
I spent my 2wks hols gg out almost everyday. mk the best out of it(:
For my first wk.
I went to the zoo one of the days with chris.
So here's some pics.
i cuden wait to start tkin pics. haha. Outside of the zoo.
The car looks classic.
cute otters.
The best pic i captured of Inuka the polar bear.
so very short. 1.6, bearly above the 1.5mark):
rhinos
a pic i tk while out in the sun.
idk wad animal this is
The bird tt cant fly but run sooo fast.
Zebra
This is soo cute, and the kids were tryin to tk a pic of it too
king of the animals, the lion!
they are so tall & prettyy!
not bad.
i bot this fan @ sentosa
tiny snake
are they sleeping?
its abit dark
Went out wit a classmate today. so.
Butterfly
that cute thing.
on the tram on the way back.
SMILE!
do a grass statue of me pls!
did not go to children's world cos... i was feelin too sleepy. =x
had ben & jerry's ice cream aftwhich. wow! YUM!
my best frd chris.
after zoo went AMK hub for pepperlunch.
i fell aslp while on the bus.
Then there was one day i went out with ojer, watched surf's up @ cathay cineplex.
had b&j ice cream agn!
Nasi Lemak @ marina sq
One day i caught the movie Fantastic 4 w weiqi @ bugis.
He was nice enuf to fetch me frm pasir ris and sent me back there aft tt.
Had yong tau foo for lunch.
the food at the food court all v nice one(:
another day i went out with qayyum.
went to cityhall. had lunch @ Macs. Double cheeseburger meal agn.
jus so addicted to it. die la so fattening. sighs.
walked ard aft that. shopshop. try try clothes.
i tried a few frm topshop. i like this jumper but it dont really have my size. :'(
ok cant really rmb who else i went out with.
realised all my friends are guys. prob due to my course.
nvm i still have my dearest vans & yelena. enuf for me.
okkk so i watched transformers. at tm.
nimesh,ahmed & chris. the movie was damn cool.
after tt met qayyum at chris void deck.
went for dinner then went bac home.
i watched die hard 4 at vivo with chris.
the movie v nice!
bot my shoes frm zara, $60.
a top from mango, $9.
and chocos frm candy empire
went to try a black dress but i dint buy it. cos i think my arms are too flabby.(:
honeydew frappe. tastes abit like medicine? but its alrte.
VERY happy cause i've watched all the movies i wana watch atm.
Friday i went to nimesh house.
i wish it was my hse...
some secret i was tryin to find out frm the labtop
i had to make his bed cos i messed it up :(
DONT THINK DIRTY AH NTH HAPPENED. Chris was there too.
They were fighting with the soccer ball.
after we left his hse went to parkway parade to hv lunch, damn hungry.
abit 15mins walk frm his hse. but my heels were killing!
here nimesh tk a pic of us but we were tkin a pic usin chris's hp.
nimesh eating his pizza..
as for nik, nowadays i hear him say the alphabet W.
and he knows how to sing "twinkle twinkle little star"
but with his own words. so cutte can! XD
i really enjoy spendin time with him. i love his company. my baby.
nik clapping hands..
munching on his onion ring.
so on after my birthday, i've decided to get my driving license.
ahh. still got abt 5mths to my bd. argh.
cos u know why?...
IF I PASS, I GET A FREE CAR!
From one of my frds, thank u thank u.
his budget is 100K but i will be getting a red plate la.
cant afford a normal one.
im thinking of a evo. white one. wad do u guys think?
IM SOO EXCITED!
FIRST person i wud drive is baby nik.
followed by "him" the guy who bot me my car.
then my female friends, vanessa & yelena.
then my other frds whoever that wans a ride.
wow. its gona be so hot.
and i can feel my life is changing for the beta. (:
thank u.
2:46 AM
COOL. we rarely have long hols like tt.
I spent my 2wks hols gg out almost everyday. mk the best out of it(:
For my first wk.
I went to the zoo one of the days with chris.
So here's some pics.
i cuden wait to start tkin pics. haha. Outside of the zoo.
The car looks classic.
cute otters.
The best pic i captured of Inuka the polar bear.
so very short. 1.6, bearly above the 1.5mark):
rhinos
a pic i tk while out in the sun.
idk wad animal this is
The bird tt cant fly but run sooo fast.
Zebra
This is soo cute, and the kids were tryin to tk a pic of it too
king of the animals, the lion!
they are so tall & prettyy!
not bad.
i bot this fan @ sentosa
tiny snake
are they sleeping?
its abit dark
Went out wit a classmate today. so.
Butterfly
that cute thing.
on the tram on the way back.
SMILE!
do a grass statue of me pls!
did not go to children's world cos... i was feelin too sleepy. =x
had ben & jerry's ice cream aftwhich. wow! YUM!
my best frd chris.
after zoo went AMK hub for pepperlunch.
i fell aslp while on the bus.
Then there was one day i went out with ojer, watched surf's up @ cathay cineplex.
had b&j ice cream agn!
Nasi Lemak @ marina sq
One day i caught the movie Fantastic 4 w weiqi @ bugis.
He was nice enuf to fetch me frm pasir ris and sent me back there aft tt.
Had yong tau foo for lunch.
the food at the food court all v nice one(:
another day i went out with qayyum.
went to cityhall. had lunch @ Macs. Double cheeseburger meal agn.
jus so addicted to it. die la so fattening. sighs.
walked ard aft that. shopshop. try try clothes.
i tried a few frm topshop. i like this jumper but it dont really have my size. :'(
ok cant really rmb who else i went out with.
realised all my friends are guys. prob due to my course.
nvm i still have my dearest vans & yelena. enuf for me.
okkk so i watched transformers. at tm.
nimesh,ahmed & chris. the movie was damn cool.
after tt met qayyum at chris void deck.
went for dinner then went bac home.
i watched die hard 4 at vivo with chris.
the movie v nice!
bot my shoes frm zara, $60.
a top from mango, $9.
and chocos frm candy empire
went to try a black dress but i dint buy it. cos i think my arms are too flabby.(:
honeydew frappe. tastes abit like medicine? but its alrte.
VERY happy cause i've watched all the movies i wana watch atm.
Friday i went to nimesh house.
i wish it was my hse...
some secret i was tryin to find out frm the labtop
i had to make his bed cos i messed it up :(
DONT THINK DIRTY AH NTH HAPPENED. Chris was there too.
They were fighting with the soccer ball.
after we left his hse went to parkway parade to hv lunch, damn hungry.
abit 15mins walk frm his hse. but my heels were killing!
here nimesh tk a pic of us but we were tkin a pic usin chris's hp.
nimesh eating his pizza..
as for nik, nowadays i hear him say the alphabet W.
and he knows how to sing "twinkle twinkle little star"
but with his own words. so cutte can! XD
i really enjoy spendin time with him. i love his company. my baby.
nik clapping hands..
munching on his onion ring.
so on after my birthday, i've decided to get my driving license.
ahh. still got abt 5mths to my bd. argh.
cos u know why?...
IF I PASS, I GET A FREE CAR!
From one of my frds, thank u thank u.
his budget is 100K but i will be getting a red plate la.
cant afford a normal one.
im thinking of a evo. white one. wad do u guys think?
IM SOO EXCITED!
FIRST person i wud drive is baby nik.
followed by "him" the guy who bot me my car.
then my female friends, vanessa & yelena.
then my other frds whoever that wans a ride.
wow. its gona be so hot.
and i can feel my life is changing for the beta. (:
thank u.
2:46 AM