so hate work.
im garde manger AGAIN. and it sucks. they expect u to do everything correctly becos u did it for wks. im so sick today & had to bear all the nonsence.
i just wish to pon tank for 2 whole wks. ):
its really not easy being a single parent. becos,
u always got to be der for ur child, its like if u dont do it, no one else does it.
recently, m so stressed up.
cause, i've been sick & so is nik. had to bring him to the docs.
i had to get some form frm sch to submit to childcare.
during the nights, aft i eat my medcine i feel so drowsy.
i wan to slp but nik wud always wk up crying cos he is feeling unwell too.
i have to be der to look aft him so i have to wake up halfway.
last 2 nights, i swore i wk up more than 10 times.
m so tired...
im worried, abt the future.
abt his development. cause he doesnt wan2 learn new words.
do i have to bring him to a speech therapist?
if i have to, i have to pon tank work.
or an audiologist? den i have to miss a few days of work agn.
like i've to go polyclinic get referral,den another day go hospital.
so ley chey. but bo bian. nobody cn help me. he is my responsibility.
one can nv know how tough it is to be a single parent unless she/he is one her/himself.
if u had a spouse at least he can be der to support u mentally?
unlike me.. sometyms im scared, im tired. but have no one to lean on.
and i know i cant break down becos i still have Nik..
im nt tryin to sound emo here. haha.
but just to share how i feel.
i really muz be more patient. nik is one tough baby.
if u were my close frds u shud know.
like vanessa & chris, im sure u guys know how hyper he is.
how hard. how tiring it is to look aft him..
how stubborn he is. i've to follow him everywhr.
if i dont let him run, he cries, i let him, he runs away. *dangerous*
sometyms i duno wad to do.
i admit im not gd at handling kids sometimes.
but im tryin to learn. no one taught me. so wad do u expect.
i dont like the way outsiders look at me.
becos nik is always screaming & running abt, they gimme the look " why the mother duno how to discipline"
i duno how. i've tried. m trying. i talk to him nicely, he doesnt listens.
sometyms i beat him he still screams. so sometyms i really feel like breaking down.
like who can help me??
today, i prepared porridge for him.
but he dint wan2 eat it. ah. my efforts. ):
but still, i'll look aft him. as he is my responsibility.
he must not grow up to be like his father. i wud not allow tt.
ahh. for now i shud just try & relax.
guess im really worrying too much.
nik, u mean so much to mummy. (:
hope u get well soon! dont like u to be sick. im so heartpain.
i feel like crying when i see u in pain. i want u to go sch happily.
ouh and i really spent alot of money this time round.
like to childcare & his doc fees. =/
its ok. money can earn bac next tym.
anything for u baby(:
6:54 PM